15 Responses

1. Tammy A

   2009 Sep 26 1

   My boyfriend wants me to lose weight, but I’m not fat AND I have hypothyroidism. What do you think of that?
   I am 22, 5′ 6", and 135 pounds. I have slightly less than a 29" waist. A lot of my work clothes are a size 2. I’m not skinny, but I am certainly not fat. I was really skinny when I was younger, so at first it was hard for me to not be as skinny now, but I have adjusted and until my boyfriend started making comments about my weight, I was very happy with my body.

   A few years ago, I got hypothyroidism, which, if you don’t know, makes your metabolism slow, and it basically makes you really lazy. Tons of people gain weight when they have it, and it’s really hard to lose weight. Also, I have neck pain which gets worse when I work out, so it’s hard to force myself to.

   I haven’t eaten dessert and sweets since 12/31/2007, I don’t have many dairy products, and the only meat I eat is chicken. I rarely eat out, and I actually love eating healthy foods (fruits, veggies, beans, etc), but I do a lot of boredom eating, and do eat a lot of carbs. Also, I can be really lazy, because I don’t have the energy I used to have.

   When I started dating my boyfriend, it was right after I gave up dessert, so I was less than 130 then. He has always dated skinny girls, and he is skinny himself. And for the past few months, my boyfriend has been making stupid comments about my weight gain of about 5 pounds (over about a year). He’s even taken some of my food off of my plate and onto his so I wouldn’t eat so much.

   I broke down recently when I was trying to find something to wear to a party, and felt like none of my clothes fit. And I just wanted him to tell me how attracted he is to me, but instead he just mentioned that I had been letting myself go. We got into a huge fight because I feel like he needs to be a little nicer about this, especially since, at the beginning of the month, I started exercising again.

   When he pushes me, however, it just makes me NOT want to work out, because I would be embarrassed if he saw me working out and I didn’t lose weight. Also, if I do lose weight, I want it to be because I want to, not because he will be mad if I don’t. But he cannot understand that it’s hard for me to lose weight (I have never do it before), as he was a wrestler in high school and can lose weight really easily.

   What do I tell my boyfriend to make him understand that it’s not okay to get mad at me for not "trying hard enough" to lose weight for him?

   Sorry I wrote so much, but I really need some guidance. Any other thoughts? Be as honest as you want.

2. crazykanne3221

   2009 Sep 26 2

   Honestly honey, you need to let him go. You sound like the average girl. if you are wearing a size 2 then you are fine. Even if you had a little more meat on your bones he should love you no matter what. If he cant accept you for who you are then you are too good for him anyways. remember there are always men who will realize what is good when one loser is too thick headed to see a good thing. maybe you could make comments about his weight and take food off of his plate and see how it makes him feel.
   References :

3. Sarah__xx

   2009 Sep 26 3

   Wow, he’s being a huge jerk to you.

   Do yourself a favor and dump him, you deserve MUCH better.

   And, a size two? You’re perfect, in fact, even gaining a little weight wouldn’t hurt that much. Do whatever you like with your body, don’t let stupid boys get you down! =]
   References :

4. Girl

   2009 Sep 26 4

   I am sorry, he seems like an asshole.

   There is nothing wrong with you, you are NOT fat. He obviously has bad self esteem issues. Really. It’s not you, it’s him.
   References :

5. skippa_10

   2009 Sep 26 5

   Do yourself a very big favour and kick him to the curb. Tell him if he can’t accept you exactly the way you are he doesn’t deserve you and to hit the road.

   He can only make you feel inferior if you let him so don’t let him make you feel inferior in any way. You deserve to be loved and respected for who you are not what you look like. If you are happy with your weight who is he, or anyone else for that matter, to judge you.

   For the record hon, I do have a weight problem and my husband tells me very day he loves me just the way I am. He is slim and he does’t give me a hard time about my weight. In fact he tells me every single day that I am gorgeous and that’s exactly what your man should be telling you.
   References :

6. Martika C

   2009 Sep 26 6

   you’re kidding right? most people would KILL for your body..and your boyfriend seems like a jerk no offensive but i mean come on if all he talks about is your weight then maybe it’s time to find a new boyfriend who accepts you no matter what
   References :

7. Cinnamon

   2009 Sep 26 7

   I’m sorry to give a snippy reply, but that is just completely awful of him to even mention your weight. It’s not his prerogative how much you weigh. As long as you’re healthy, it doesn’t matter and it’s none of his damn business.
   Wow, this just made me angry. I’m a very self-conscious person and I would never in my life be able to handle that kind of treatment. He should love you for what you are and your weight shouldn’t matter at all. It shouldn’t even be an equation if you’re not endangering your health. Judging from your height, you’re not overweight at all. What in Gods name. How do you deal with that? I could never handle someone treating me that way. That would make me feel just awful.

   You deserve better in my opinion. It’s not my right to judge but seriously, wow. He sure is charming. -sarcasm-
   References :

8. kai

   2009 Sep 26 8

   Honestly your boyfriend should love you for who you are not how much you weigh. Unless you weighed 300+ pounds and your health was at risk should he be worried and even then he should be more sensitve about it. The media is hard enough on girls to be super skinny having a boyfriend who wants the same thing isn’t very good. You should tell him how it makes you feel and if he doesn’t pay attention to you maybe you should reevaluate your relationship with him and see why he’s really with you. You seem very thin and healthy don’t get down on yourself.
   References :

9. CaiseyHoffman :)

   2009 Sep 26 9

   Boyfriend, sounds like an assa.
   Sorry. But your already skinny, and prolly beautiful, no need to lose weight if your happy with your body.
   
   References :

10. ladykenmax

    2009 Sep 26 10

    This is abuse and he is trying to control you. It is that plain and simple. Kick him out now!! He is playing with you and you don’t deserve it. You are only one that you need to please. Not some jerk who sits on his brains and controls you.
    References :

11. Kat

    2009 Sep 26 11

    Your boyfriend sounds like a total tool.You can do better, he’s just trying to put you down so you don’t realize how great you truly are. And if he has a problem with your weight then that’s just it, it’s HIS problem not yours. A lot of girls would love to be your size. Tell your boyfriend to shut the fuck up and worry about himself because you are at an ideal weight and if he wanted a twig he should have hit on a tree!
    References :

12. Alessia

    2009 Sep 26 12

    What kind of "look" is he attracted to – the freaking mummified corpse look? Your body sounds just fine.

    Better watch that he’s not in a cemetary cheating on you with some decomposed Phyllis Lou (1907-1994). Or, rather, that he IS. Because a neurotic little *pussycat minus the "cat"* like that *should* be dead to you.
    References :

13. Me K

    2009 Sep 26 13

    DUMP HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! If he’s acting this controlling and you are ONLY a size 2 and he is ONLY a boyfriend..Can you only imagine how bad he will be when or if he becomes a husband????? I never was heavy until I met my abusive ex bf-my son’s sperm donor..After we split….I met a guy thin-not really my type even when I was thin and he bragged on me being sexy-even though I never felt sexy!!!!!!!! I got as many comments from guys being heavy as I did when I was thin!!!!!!!!! I was with that bf for almost 9 yrs…he was a jerk in other ways though..So I finally dumped him. I met a guy when I was heavy..I shattered both bones and my ankle and became even heavier..I did the weight loss surgery, worked out 2 times a day, toning up so well, I don’t need any skin removal and lost 250 lbs in a yr and a half-flooring my dr.’s that I not only walked again after they said I wouldn’t but the drastic fast weight loss a yr ahead of schedule. This jerk NEVER bragged on me being sexy after I lost the weight..He is VERY insecure about himself and I have no idea why I put up with his BS..I found out EVERY girl he dated was heavy and treated them exactly the way he did me when they got in a fight. He ONLY dated heavy women and then in a fight would call them every belittling fat name he could think of. He was so stupid, that he still continued to call me fat and I was thin!!!!!!!!! His abuse was so normal for him to attack the very thing he was attracted to…He couldn’t come up with better name calling once the weight was gone. I would tell him, How in the hell can you dare call me fat, when you weigh more than me fool!!!!!!!!!!!!! Needless to say, I dumped his sorry @ss too!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am finally at a point in my life, I am happier being single and have no intentions of being with another man!!!!!!!! I’m not bi or gay and have women hit on me as well. I’ve turned down more women than all 3 of these guys together has ever had!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do not let a man rule you…It will ONLY get worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If a man loves you, he loves you for everything you are-inside and out!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUMP HIM YOU DESERVE MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, hun…since you do have a medical issue that causes your metabolism to be slow…Make sure you are eating healthy carbs, not the breads, and noodles..The more protein you eat-healthy, even if you can drink protein drinks it could help..But, NOT to lose weight, just to feel better. EMAIL ME ANYTIME……I will give you my direct addy when you do. TC HUN, Julia
    References :

14. beautiful_you1

    2009 Sep 26 14

    It is understood that it is very difficult letting go of someone you have invested so much time in. If he is only your boyfriend now and making statements like this, imagine what he would be like if you were to marry? Believe me it would only get worse. You are your number one concern and the person you are with is an extension of what you think of yourself. So, hey, if you like feeling horrible and ugly soon to expand in to feeling like an idiot and worthless, this sounds like the guy for you, sardonically speaking. Ask yourself what you want, not what you want to settle for. Who really gives a rat’s behind how big or small you are other than you? I’ll tell you, I have located the love of my life, after ending an 18 year marriage. When I met him I was wearing a size 4. I put on 40lbs and guess what, he has never ever said anything along any lines about the weight I put on. He loves me for me and always says I’m beautiful and sexy and means it. That person is out there for you, sometimes you have to go through a few bad ones while you are figuring out who YOU really are. Good luck to you girlie!!
    References :

15. ChemoAngel

    2009 Sep 26 15

    Sorry but your boyfriend is Shallow. He is not worth your time and energy. Tell him to KNOCK IT OFF, he is damaging your self esteem, he obviously has NO Clue what Hypothyroidsm is…and he is obsessed with skinny girls. So just Dump him. He is obviously so self centered that he can only be around skinny girls, and is flaunting his own thinness. That just makes me sick, sorry…but he has mental problems.
    References :